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Try to Remember, Forget

Mon May 4, 2009, 11:00 AM
It's been a long time, dA. I may as well be honest and say that it'll probably be a long time again before I write another journal after this one. But you never know. Crazier things have happened.

However, they have not happened recently. My lack of journals has been largely due to the fact that nothing of much importance has happened in the last few months. Either that, or I have lost the ability to become excited over important events. I'm not ruling that one out.

Anyway, let me take this opportunity to give a relatively brief overview of the last few months. As I mentioned in my last journal, we bought a new car, due to the fact that Aaron's Protege was, in face, a screaming metal death trap. So, we traded it in for an '09 Mitsubishi Lancer. It's black, it's shiny, and its name is Nyx. The salesman at the dealership is probably one of the most entertaining people I've ever met, which is good, because we had to go to back there seven or eight times for various different things. Mike Sams make it up to us though. He makes me chuckle.

Apart from dealing with the new car, I have, of course, been working. I'm still just a temporary employee with the company, and they still haven't given any of us (there are about 15 full-time temps in my department) any clues as to how much longer we'll be employed. Technically, our temporary contracts expired on April 4, however we've been instructed to keep reporting to work pretty much until they otherwise. The whole company is undergoing contract negotiations, and I'm pretty sure they won't decide one way or the other (either to keep us or let us go) until the company-wide contract has been negotiated. Actually, to be more honest, I think they've decided, but they're not going to tell us. In either case, I'm just waiting at this point. It's very frustrating, but I've finally decided that it's not worth stressing about. I won't be able to change the outcome whether I fret over it or not. So why bother?

Speaking which, I've been in touch with my family quite a bit more than usual lately. Apparently my Grandpa (on my mother's side) has been very ill. He was unable to come to my wedding last year due to needing an oxygen tank with him at all time, but apparently things gotten worse. He's been in and out of the hospital for the last few weeks with severe respiratory distress. From what I understand (my mom is an EMT and tends to forget that not everyone is familiar with the medical terminology), he is being treated, but the treatments are not meant to be used for long periods of time. Additionally, his pacemaker is not doing well at keeping up with all of his breathing troubles. Really, it's only a matter of time for him. My mom and my brother are planning a trip to go see him this week. Of course, mom wants me to go. But I don't know...

I just feel so detached from the situation. I feel detached from pretty much everything. I find myself trying to reconnect with old friends, people who I used to genuinely care about, but I just can't make it work. It's not that I don't care. I do care. But I used to be that person that anyone could talk to about anything. I seem to have forgotten how to hold a conversation. Either that or just no one remembers me. *chuckles* Especially in the last few weeks, I've been wishing for just one of those good-old-times conversations, where it was all silliness and drama and laughter. But, I guess those days are just gone.

I just feel like I did everything wrong.

Well, guys I'm just about out of steam here. Congratulations if you made it this far (and didn't skip!) I know I'm not around on dA much (but let's face it, you probably aren't either) but I am still on MSN/AIM/Skype.

Take care. <3


  • Mood: Remorse
  • Listening to: At the Drive In- Quarantined
  • Playing: World of Warcraft
  • Drinking: Water

25 Continental Almonds

Mon Feb 16, 2009, 6:26 PM
Yeah, I don't get it either.

Just popping in to let deviantART know I'm not dead yet. Not a lot is new. I bought a new car, I turned 21, I got a haircut. Valentine's Day came and went. There were roses and calla lilies, Chinese food, and Blu-ray movies involved. And that's all I have to say about that.

<3

  • Mood: Big Grin
  • Listening to: !!!- Shit Schiesse, Merde, Pt. 1
  • Drinking: Water

Reindeer Games

Journal Entry: Wed Dec 10, 2008, 2:18 PM



Comet!Cupid!Donner!Blitzen!


Blizten was always my favorite reindeer... well, maybe not always, but he is now at least. Also, I don't play reindeer games. You know, those silly little social events you go to just because you're expected to? Yeah. I don't play them.

Oh, and hello, deviantART. I hope everyone has been doing well.Believe it or not, I have kept up with most of you, I just haven't been commenting. Now that I think about it, I feel a little bit stalker-like. :paranoid: I still love you guys!

Not a whole lot has been going on here. Aaron and I bought ourselves new cell phones for Christmas. They're pretty neat. Last weekend we had some friends over to play some games, but that's really the most social thing I've done in a long time. I don't mind though.

I've been working a lot, especially this week. One of our servers in Missouri got flooded, so there was a big outage, and now everyone is working mandatory overtime to make up for the lost time. Today was supposed to be my day off, but I had to go in. The good news is that when I'm on overtime I can work pretty much whatever hours I damn well please, haha. Plus my next paycheck will be nice and fat. Just in time to spend it all for Christmas!

I honestly can't say that I'm surprised that the year is almost over. Quite the opposite, actually. I can't believe it took this long for the damn thing to be over. This year has been just completely hectic. I feel that I learned a lot this year, though. I learned how to be patient and how to compromise. I learned how to work for the things I want. But I also learned that no matter how hard I work, some things just cannot (should not!) be. Some friendships just can't be saved. I tried my hardest, but in the end I couldn't win. But that's okay, because you know what? I've also learned to stop being sorry for things that aren't my fault.

It was a good year, I think. It's not over yet, but I don't see anything horrible happening in the near future.

Do you?

Edit


So, yeah. I just went to Toys R Us (I was looking for a water gun... the don't have any this time of year, just so you know). And I found this, and it was just too great to pass up.



The box says that this product is made of 100% recycled awesome. I'd have to agree. Merry Christmas to me!

:D

Everyone's afraid of their own life.
If you could be anything you want
I bet you'd be disappointed, am I right?
-Modest Mouse
CSS Coded and Images by @Trapiki
  • Mood: Big Grin
  • Drinking: Water

Just a Temperature and a Shape

Journal Entry: Sat Nov 1, 2008, 11:53 AM



Temperature:Cold.

Shape:Ugly.


luff.
<3
CSS Coded and Images by =Trapiki
  • Mood: Big Grin
  • Listening to: The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else But You
  • Reading: 'Salem's Lot
  • Drinking: Water

Settling

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 19, 2008, 1:26 PM



Direction.


Settling. Down? In? Whichever it is, that's what I'm doing.

Things at my new job are going pretty well. There are only a few calls a day that I really have trouble with, and in those cases whoever I ask for help is generally also rather confounded by the situation. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on things. I've been working all weekend (in fact I'm at work right now), but it hasn't been bad. Yesterday I ended up working an hour of overtime, so today Aaron came up to Dallas and had lunch with me on the Company. =P Today has been extremely slow. They're doing a routine update of all of our systems, so they didn't schedule any installations for today, which drastically reduces our call volume. I spent most of the morning coloring in an old Garfield Coloring & Activity book. It's been great fun. The best part is that I get paid 1.5 times my normal wages because it's a Sunday. Best day ever.

At home I've really just been piddling my time away. I like it though. I didn't have to work on Thursday, so I went and got a hair cut. It's really quite short, but I think it looks, dare I say it, cute. After that a friend and I went to the Dallas Arboretum. They're having a pumpkin festival, and it was a miserably gray and chilly day, so it felt just like home! We had a good time. I hate to admit it, but I'm really glad she moved here. We've been friends forever, and I generally don't make friends with local people that I don't necessarily enjoy just for the sake of convenience, so it's nice to have someone I really enjoy and that is close enough to call up and hang out with at a moment's notice. I'll be sad when she goes.

In other news, I'm in the process of planning a trip up to New York sometime next year. Part of me wants to wait until September/October (preferably September, I want to take Aaron to the Garlic Festival) of next year, because it will be cool and beautiful, but the other part of me simply does not want to wait that long. We'll see. A year seems like a long time, but I suspect that next September will be here before I know what hit me.

I'm pretty sure I'm done flapping my gums now. I've been keeping up with everyone's journals, so I do wish the very best to everyone, but I'm keeping my nose out of things, especially where I know my advice is not wanted. I trust you guys to take care of yourselves. :heart:

Up, up, down, down,left, right, left, right, B, A, START-
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart.
-The Moldy Peaches
CSS Coded and Images by =Trapiki
  • Mood: Big Grin
  • Listening to: The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else But You
  • Reading: 'Salem's Lot
  • Drinking: Water

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